You Should Have a Girl

I am the mom of boys. Two boys. No daughters—only sons. As the mom of boys, I am frequently told that I need a daughter to round out my family.

“You should have a girl.”  I hear it all the time.

But why? Why should I have a girl? Is it because the two boys I already have aren’t good enough? Is it because I’ve somehow failed by conceiving two children of the same gender? The male gender? Is it because all mothers need a daughter in order to feel complete?

Those are the questions that go through my mind whenever somebody says, “You should have a girl.”

And it’s not just moms of boys; dads of girls get it, too. both of my brothers-in-law have only girls. Yet, I’ve heard people say things like, “Oh, man… no boys, huh?” or “Only girls… tough break.” I mean, what’s a father to do without a son to play catch with in the back yard? What kind of life is that?

Why are people so hung up on gender, anyway? Aren’t we just lucky to have kids at all when so many are unable?

When I was 28, my husband and I were in the throes of infertility. We saw doctors, identified a problem and attempted to fix it—but were told not to get our hopes up. I cried and bawled and sobbed my eyes out at the idea of not being able to conceive. All I wanted was a baby. Boy. Girl. It didn’t matter. I just wanted a baby.

A year later, I got my wish. On February 9, 2003, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy—a boy who changed my life forever when, just seconds old, he looked up at me with my husband’s almond-shaped, brown eyes. Nineteen months later, my second masterpiece of perfection entered the world, completing our family: baby boy #2.

Two babies! Two boys! Two amazing baby boys! My prayers were answered. What more could I want in life?

Oh yeah that’s right, a girl.

To those of who believe I need a girl, I know you mean well and I truly appreciate your concern. But please understand, this advice is not helpful to me. God chose me to be the mom of boys. He chose to bless me with two amazing, thoughtful, hilarious, witty boys who enliven every corner of my life. Were it not for these boys, I would not be the mom I am today. I would not be the person I am today.

I do not have a girl to dress up or take shopping. I do not have a partner in crime to accompany me to the nail salon or share in the woes of monthly menstrual cramps.  I have two boys who are my loves. My sweethearts. My protectors. My princes.